Monday, July 7, 2014

Segamat | Jementah


The extent of my awe remains constant everytime time I reminisce of how I was privileged to witness the amazing work that He has done during my first mission trip to Segamat & Jementah in March 2014. This has been one of the key spiritual milestone in my life that kept me holding on to my faith till date even when the violent tossing of the waves is causing everything else to dwindle down into the turmoil of the unknown. It has been a rough season not because anything tragic happened, but because I get to fully experience what it is like to be carried in the Potter's arms of Love on the road to purity- the journey to be refined as gold.

Sunday, July 6, 2014


Hebrews 12:27
This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.

When all that I've always been finding security in start to shake and fall apart, it is so tough to keep my focus and eyes on the One whom I'd always forget is greater than my troubles and insecurities. This fight of faith and having repressed memories intermittently resurfaced is taking a toll on my weary soul and I'd wish so badly for time to fast forward itself to 4 years down the road when I can officially embark on a fresh journey of independence to provide for my family and myself. To intently seek His still small voice in the midst of chaos is like trying to look for a needle in a haystack, but that is all I can ever wish for right now.

Thursday, July 3, 2014


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Eye contact, butterflies, blood rushing to the face. It's been a long time since I felt this way and oh, how I miss that.

I have had people asking me about the kind of guy that I look for. My list of expected qualities are aplenty, but I do believe that love is blind and it knows no bound. In fact, I do not discount the fact that I may end up marrying the guy that I vouched my life with to never marry. I remember a conversation I had with one of my ex colleague (let's just name him A) that went something like this-

Me: Nah, we will never happen. He told me he will never like me. We're impossible.
A: Then what about you?
Me: Me?
A: Yeah, you. Will you ever... like him?

He caught me dumbfounded and I was taken aback by my own response too. I couldn't give A an answer, and I realised that it was because I did end up liking the guy we were talking about. A said "See, the fact that you can't answer means that you may like him. And that is all that is needed to create hope. Hope in this friendship that will blossom into something beautiful." It finally made sense to me that the limits of love is unfathomable and it grows beyond what the human mind can think of. I guess this is what it meant of the cliche- the power of love.

But that was all in the past and I have already moved on. Honestly, I do envy multi-racial/ethnicity couple because I find it so beautiful about the fact that they are an example to prove that love goes beyond boundaries like ethnicity, and that love overcomes diversity issues such as language and cultural differences. It also shows love gives us the strength and courage to take the narrow path when we could have easily chosen the easy way out. I know that there are MANY other factors to consider before getting into a relationship but I sometimes do secretly hope I get to marry someone who is of a different ethnicity but share the same faith and interests as I do. Sometimes I'd imagine him being a photographer and we'd shoot each other when we're out on dates since I like taking photos too ha ha ha. Then again like I mentioned, I may end up being with someone whom I least expect to be with after meeting him in the most radical way. I really don't know what the future holds, but I'm always excited to experience what lies ahead and am keeping an open heart and mind.

Now if you think about it, all that I've mentioned in the above are what I define as my kind of perfection. By chasing what I'd think is perfect would only lead to disappointment in the long run because nobody is perfect. I'm sure you've heard of people saying things like "I'm starting to see his/ her true colours after we got married" or "... after 2 years of being together". Why is that so? Because we have been chasing "perfection". God has been teaching me to look deeper and beyond, and that I should be looking for someone who strives for perfection instead. In other words, I should be looking out for someone who is consistently allowing God to change him to be more like Christ and perhaps this is what it means to be real to yourself by acknowledging that fact that nobody is perfect and that we all have weaknesses, but with God in the picture we will be able to love imperfection. May this constantly be a reminder to myself to not to love perfection (which is superficial), but to love the efforts made to reach perfection.

Above all, the most important thing is to love God and love people, and that is all that is needed for everything to fall nicely into place.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
- 1 Corinthians 13:13 -